everybody has it tough, but you don't just give up.

Everybody has it tough, but you don't just give up; you gotta keep moving forward. If you don't care for yourself, no one else will. It really annoys me when people say stupid stuff and make the wrong choices... it's like their intentionally trying to ruin their lives. I've made a lot of wrong choices and sometimes, I really wish I could take back some of the shit I've said and done. At the end of the day, I just suck it all up; we all make mistakes and they later on just become experiences which we gain a lesson from. *sigh* Life's so complicated... I don't want you going down the same path I did.

is it bad that i'm thinking about cocaine.

Is it bad that I'm thinking about cocaine? Not doing it, but just about it. I wonder what people feel or how they feel under that kind of high. Hmm... :/ I wonder, if I ever tried it, would I be happy? Would it make me feel good, even if only for a few hours...? I wonder why celebrities get so hooked on it. Or why people in general do. Well, that's something I'll never know~

wake up in the morning feeling like p. diddy.

"Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy." -Ke$ha
I wish! That way I can wake up feelin' nice every morning! -__- Life's so routine and so boring. I hate feeling controlled, being disrespected, and criticized. I hate feeling like I'm living for others and not myself, stuck with all these expectations. *sigh* Currently in class, Intro. to Dramatic Literature. Some guy just made a joke about the creation of musicals and how one of the guys last names was "Gay". HAHA, how funny... not. -__- ughh, people are so immature these days. Get over it. And omgoshh! My mom really pisses me off. Telling me stuff like, "None of you are going to remember me" and "Transfer to a better school! What do I tell my friends when they ask?" So rude... Well, Justin told me it doesn't matter where I go, but where I'm going... Good advice.

life's just one, long, sad song.

Have you ever listened to a really old song that you haven't heard in years and it manages to make your eyes tear up? It just makes you think and miss all these things that you once had. *sigh* I miss being young... I miss being an innocent kid who didn't think about sex, boys, or relationships most of the time. I miss being able to live without a single care in the world and play video games for my Sega Dreamcast, like Grandia II.
Today's been an incredibly unproductive and boring day. Woke up at 4PM! Wow, what a bummer - half of the day already gone. And it really pisses me off 'cause I had two alarms ringing at 11 in the morning, but I clicked snooze all the way till 4... wow, something is really off with me.  Listening to Nicole Scherzinger's new album, Killer Love. Got to admit, it's not bad. She still seems like a complete bitch to me though after what she did to the other Pussycat Dolls members. Wonder if she still keeps in contact with any of the other Pussycat Dolls? o.o
Just been thinking a lot today. Have a homework assignment due tomorrow, but I think I'm going to turn it in 2 days late... Gosh, I am such a slacker! Something about myself I wish I could change. I think I'm way to used to being a high school student. *sigh* How I miss it so much. I hate not skipping as much and more importantly, I miss all my high school friends who I don't even talk to anymore :(
Well, that's it for today. Till next time.

let's just say life's been tough and leave it at that.

Let's just say that life's been tough and leave it at that. I know that NOBODY even goes on this site anymore due to the fact that the internet is now dominated by a new blogging website known as Tumblr, which I think is pointless because it's mostly people re-blogging other peoples' pictures, but I've decided to use this site as my own personal diary.
Lately, to be honest, I've been feeling down. I don't want to be a Debby-Downer, but I don't want to keep lying to myself. If I didn't have friends here to keep me preoccupied, I honestly think I would've already been buried 6-feet-under as we speak. *sigh* School's so stressful... and I owe the government $150 - wtf is up with that?! I feel myself growing distant with people who I always thought that I would remain close with forever. I guess the benefit from that is that I'm meeting tons of other great and amazing people to hang out with.
I can't stand when my friends meet a guy and completely cut me out of the picture. Without a warning, things really can change in a matter of seconds. I don't want to be the guy you come to when you need something, nor do I want to be the third wheel. THIS SUCKS! God, so much stupid shit is on my mind and it really irks me that I'm letting all this baggage drag me down! My laziness and my random train of thought that leaves me thinking about all the "what ifs" in life.
I'm trying to live a life without regret, but it's hard when I still think about you when I'm feeling lonely and to make matters worse, I dream about you every now and then. I dreamed of you giving me a late birthday gift, a gold bracelet. It pained me that you never even gave me a birthday present after I bought so much stuff for you, treated you so well, and put so much thought into what I got you for your birthday... Did I really mean so little to you? Maybe my heart can't get over this 'cause I never felt like I got closure from the way we ended it. *sigh* Currently listening to Irreplaceable by Beyoncé. Gosh, this song really gets me thinking. Some guys really are irreplaceable though when you think about it... at least the ones who left a huge impact on your life. Life would be SO much easier if me and ______ just ended up together or at least a guy like him.
Lately, I've even been thinking about my first love a lot... Things have changed a lot between me and him over the past two years. Even though me and him were not close friends, at all, I find myself occasionally missing him and feeling empty now that he left for the army.
Let's just say that life's been tough and leave it at that... We all got our own problems, we just gotta find a way to deal with it.