let's just say life's been tough and leave it at that.

Let's just say that life's been tough and leave it at that. I know that NOBODY even goes on this site anymore due to the fact that the internet is now dominated by a new blogging website known as Tumblr, which I think is pointless because it's mostly people re-blogging other peoples' pictures, but I've decided to use this site as my own personal diary.
Lately, to be honest, I've been feeling down. I don't want to be a Debby-Downer, but I don't want to keep lying to myself. If I didn't have friends here to keep me preoccupied, I honestly think I would've already been buried 6-feet-under as we speak. *sigh* School's so stressful... and I owe the government $150 - wtf is up with that?! I feel myself growing distant with people who I always thought that I would remain close with forever. I guess the benefit from that is that I'm meeting tons of other great and amazing people to hang out with.
I can't stand when my friends meet a guy and completely cut me out of the picture. Without a warning, things really can change in a matter of seconds. I don't want to be the guy you come to when you need something, nor do I want to be the third wheel. THIS SUCKS! God, so much stupid shit is on my mind and it really irks me that I'm letting all this baggage drag me down! My laziness and my random train of thought that leaves me thinking about all the "what ifs" in life.
I'm trying to live a life without regret, but it's hard when I still think about you when I'm feeling lonely and to make matters worse, I dream about you every now and then. I dreamed of you giving me a late birthday gift, a gold bracelet. It pained me that you never even gave me a birthday present after I bought so much stuff for you, treated you so well, and put so much thought into what I got you for your birthday... Did I really mean so little to you? Maybe my heart can't get over this 'cause I never felt like I got closure from the way we ended it. *sigh* Currently listening to Irreplaceable by Beyoncé. Gosh, this song really gets me thinking. Some guys really are irreplaceable though when you think about it... at least the ones who left a huge impact on your life. Life would be SO much easier if me and ______ just ended up together or at least a guy like him.
Lately, I've even been thinking about my first love a lot... Things have changed a lot between me and him over the past two years. Even though me and him were not close friends, at all, I find myself occasionally missing him and feeling empty now that he left for the army.
Let's just say that life's been tough and leave it at that... We all got our own problems, we just gotta find a way to deal with it.